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It’s one of the great conundrums of the holiday party—you want some dip, but you don’t really know what your fellow revelers have been doing to it while you weren’t looking.

Kraft Heinz’s Philadelphia brand and Droga5 are here to set your mind at ease with the latest innovation in schmaltz security—the Double Diptector. A combination of a camera-based smartphone app and an internet-connected chips-and-dip bowl, the system will use its array of motion and pressure sensors to analyze each scoop and ensure no disgusting and inconsiderate person uses the same chip twice.

That’s according to the marketer, which has, for better or worse, invested resources in bringing the device into the world and is auctioning the prototype on eBay with proceeds benefiting Feeding America (it’s currently sitting at $380 with three days left).

The exact mechanics of how it works are somewhat opaque, but the brand promises “chip recognition technology.” And the truth is, it doesn’t really matter. The device is designed to promote Philadelphia’s line of dips— Jalapeño Cheddar, for example—for the holiday season. It seizes on research that one in four George Costanza-style party guests secretly and insidiously double dip, and also on the insight that this is gross, in the words of the righteous, like “putting your whole mouth right in the dip.”

It’s dumb, amusing, and a fine companion to the other pointless but entertaining advertising hallucinations that have also found their way into actual being, like Jim Beam’s voice-activated, shot-pouring whiskey assistant.

Though a suitably neurotic host would solve the double-dipping problem by getting each guest their own dip bowl, or probably just not throwing a party at all, because the safest way to escape rude behavior is really to avoid people altogether.

CREDITS:

Client: Kraft/Philadelphia Dips
Campaign: Double Diptector
Title: Perfect Party
Launch Date: December 12, 2018

Client: Kraft Heinz, Philadelphia
Vice President of Marketing: Ariel Suffern
Head of Brand Building (Refrigerated Growth Platforms): Jessica Ryan Vultaggio
Associate Director, Brand Building: Megan Magnuson
Senior ABM, Brand Building: Kelsey Rice

Agency: Droga5 NY
Creative Chairman: David Droga
Chief Creative Officer: Neil Heymann
Executive Creative Director: Kevin Brady
Group Creative Director: Justin Ruben
Creative Technology Director: Brian Moore
Creative Technologist: Ethan Anderson
Junior Copywriter: Kelsey Fritz
Junior Art Director: Haley Buchner
Group Design Director: Devin Croda
Junior Designer: Andrew Diemer
Chief Creation Officer: Sally-Ann Dale
Director of Film Production: Jesse Brihn
Producer, Film: Lisa Delonay
Director of Business Affairs: Jocelyn Howard
Senior Business Affairs Manager: Shaunda Slade
Co-Director of Interactive Production: Tasha Cronin
Co-Director of Interactive Production: Justin Durazzo
Executive Producer, Interactive: Jenn Mann
Senior Producer, Interactive: Andrew Puzzuoli
Director of Print Production: Rob Lugo
Executive Producer, Print: Alyssa Dolman
Global Chief Strategy Officer: Jonny Bauer
Head of Strategy: Harry Román-Torres
Strategist: Mara Buta
Junior Strategist: Britt Thomas
Head of Communications Strategy: Dean Challis
Senior Communications Strategist: Hillary Fink
Group Account Director: Lauren LaValle
Account Supervisor: Milly Dunn
Account Manager: Odalis Lopez
Senior Project Manager: Carolyn Brafman
Project Manager: Amanda Cohen

Media Agency: Starcom
Associate Media Director: Dana Staton
Associate Director: Brooke Jacob
Senior Associate: Emily Donovan
Media Associate: Austin Thomson
Strategy Supervisor: Jacqueline Hoover
Senior Media Associate: Ryan Wenzel
Supervisor: Anthony Gentile

Social Agency: VMLY&R
Senior Account Manager: Anna Sagan
Account Director: Stephanie Jones
Connections Manager: Ryan O’Keefe
Creative Director: Jenna Nussbaum
Group Creative Director: Mariana Costa

PR: Alison Brod Marketing and Communications
Senior Vice President: Brooke Scher Mogan
Senior Director: Adrianna Lauricella
Account Executive: Erika Berg

Production Company: Anonymous Content
Director: Max Sherman
Executive Producer: Lori Stonebraker
Head of Production: Kerry Haynie

Production Company: OCP
Executive Producer: Harland Weiss
Executive Producer: Donovan M. Boden
Line Producer: Jason Aita
Production Manager: Jeremiah Lapointe
Production Coordinator: Farrah Khaled

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